It’s 4 AM, and the Discord channel of a pando-tree structured server—created for academic collaboration—still has two members on voice call. This has been our routine for the past week. One of us registered for six courses, the other for five. Deadlines loom: projects, reports, and occasionally, overdue homework assignments. We are young, resilient, and determined to conquer them all.


4 AM on Discord

This semester has been a whirlwind. After completing an internship in the third semester of my junior year, I re-entered the academic grind, taking two courses, Automata and a-non-Automata-course, while dedicating the remaining time to the internship. This semester also marked my first foray into the MS-BS program in Computer Science. Perhaps, in hindsight, I might have overextended myself by taking on so many courses.

So, as I’ve finally emerged from the year-end deadline crunch for these five courses, I’d like to take a moment for introspection, not necessarily for the entire year, but for this specific interval—a Δt, if you will—to dust off this neglected blog. Given the length of the preceding introductory paragraphs, consider this the third before we delve into the substance.

There was a time when I believed I could learn anything, that I possessed at least a rudimentary understanding of most things. This year, however, has been a humbling experience, shattering that naive perception—a stark encounter with the Dunning-Kruger effect. The realization dawned that my knowledge was but a grain of sand compared to the vast expanse of knowledge that exists. The only way to feel less insignificant is to actively seek knowledge. This might sound academic, but in truth, it was the guidance and support of friends, colleagues, and mentors that prevented me from succumbing entirely to academic pressure, at least until now.


Dunning-Kruger Effect

As previously mentioned, I may have overestimated my capacity this semester, finding merit in every course I took. While others celebrated the year’s end, I was counting down to deadlines deferred from the previous month—five courses within a single week. Some might label it “prodigy” or “top-tier student”, but in reality, it was simply a consequence of poor time management, burnout, and a deficiency in leadership skills. I’ve always struggled in this area, and it’s something I need to address. I aspire to be a leader more akin to a strategist than a micromanager. It was regrettable that despite forming a team with exceptionally talented individuals, we accomplished little due to my frequent absences. In the new year, I resolve to be different (a common, perhaps overly optimistic, New Year’s resolution, more for motivation than anything else).


Final tasks of the year

Regarding my thesis, progress has been slow. However, a positive development is that I’ve begun to internalize some philosophical aspects of the topic. I’m starting to contemplate the “how” of learning, rather than just the “what.” Despite feeling somewhat stuck, I sense a glimmer of progress—a faint path forward, rather than complete অন্ধকারে.

Occasionally, I receive messages from peers or encounter fleeting moments of insight. Academic work, research, and professional endeavors can be demanding and frustrating, but they rarely induce genuine sadness. I firmly believe that my efforts will eventually be rewarded, as long as I remain dedicated and persevere.

In closing, I want to express my gratitude to my friends who shared the burden of these projects. We’ve overcome a significant local maximum in our journey. I’m thankful for the encouragement from my professors; I’m confident in my ability to succeed, fueled by my self-belief. I appreciate the mentors who have generously shared their knowledge and clarified my naive inquiries. And I’m grateful for those who have remained by my side, as well as for those who have moved on.

To a particular friend with whom I’ve lost touch since the “cockroach incident”: Now is the time to enjoy your baby’s first-time touch. So delighted for you!.

Toan Doan